Protesting with PTS and Anxiety
I never thought I'd be posting about mitigating PTS and generalized anxiety symptoms while marching in large crowds to redress grievances against a fascist dictator, but here we are.
Taking part in everyday activities has always been difficult for me since I was diagnosed with severe Post Traumatic Stress and Generalized Anxiety. Speaking publicly, hosting a panel or a live podcast, and performing comedy or music comes easier because I’m in front of a crowd - not in it. Plus, those things bring me joy and help alleviate some of my symptoms. But marching and protesting doesn’t come as easy.
Over decades, I’ve perfected the art of doing everyday things with severe PTS and anxiety. When I travel, I have to book two seats or fly first class. I always ask the hotel to put me in the furthest room from the elevator, and I always sleep on the side of the bed closest to the door. When I’m out at a restaurant, I make sure to sit in the furthest corner with my back to the wall so I can see the entire room.
When I’m returning home in my car, I have to circle the block until no other cars are on the road before I park and exit the vehicle. I lace my keys between my fingers. Carry pepper spray. I installed a pretty robust security system in my house. I keep a gun in a biometric safe and have multiple monitored panic buttons within easy reach.
But marching and protesting presents a whole new bevy of challenges, and I wanted to share with you how I’m preparing in case there’s anyone that might benefit from it. Not all people with anxiety and/or PTS cope in the same way, but maybe something I share will resonate with you and help you participate in large political gatherings.
First, I remind myself that I can always leave. One thing I learned from years of yoga is to honor your body. The best part about yoga is that if you’re uncomfortable, either physically or emotionally, you can exit a pose. The same is true for an event. Knowing that I get to decide whether I stay somewhere gives me a sense of comforting control. Truth be told, exiting a yoga position is not as complex as exiting a massive march. That’s why I always make a plan.
First, I tend to prefer to Uber in and out of these kinds of events, and I locate the closest open streets or pickup points along the route so I can easily duck out and back into an Uber.
Additionally, I make a note of all cafes and coffee shops along the route in case I need to duck into one to escape the crowd for a few minutes. I also make sure to have some form of payment on me so I can buy something at those establishments - especially water because hydration is important - in case the business only allows paying customers to be there. Plus, it’s just good manners to buy something from our local businesses.
While I’m ducked into a quiet place, I can pop in my earbuds and listen to my favorite music, or calming apps. I also personally benefit from EFT tapping. It’s similar to acupuncture or acupressure in that you tap on one or more of 9 meridians to self-soothe. I gently tap (with four fingers) my eyebrow, my temple, under my eye, under my nose, my chin, and my collarbone. There are also meridians under the arm and at the top of the head, but I usually skip those. Just my personal preference. But it immediately calms me down.
I also breathe in through my nose for five counts, pause, then breathe out of my mouth for four counts. I can tap and breathe while I’m in the crowd, too. So if you see me doing that, you now know why.
If a crowd is just too much, and sometimes it can be, you can always join virtually by either having a friend take you to the march via video call, or join the march virtually if an online events are available.
It helps me to go with a friend. Someone whose hand I can hold if I need to. My chosen family always brings me comfort.
Always remember to eat first and stay hydrated so you don’t add to your list of things to worry about.
If you have any other suggestions for mitigating anxiety in crowds, please feel free to share them below, and I’ll see you all this Saturday.
~AG
Great writing. Thanks for your honest vulnerability, too. That took courage.
Great advice! Listen to your body, somatic feedback is underneath the conscious mind. Honor and talk to your body, like your breathing exercises. Also, be aware of your environment, as you suggest before the event by scouting, and during the event by just staying aware. Don't be shy about asking for help if needed; sometimes just hearing another voice can be comforting.
Stay peaceful!
“When it gets down to having to use violence, then you are playing the system’s game. The establishment will irritate you – pull your beard, flick your face – to make you fight. Because once they’ve got you violent, then they know how to handle you. The only thing they don’t know how to handle is non-violence and humor.”
― John Lennon